Getting Children to Sit in Church Re-post

By on

Last August, I wrote this article to remind myself how to encourage my children to sit in church and think it’s worth reposting in preparation for the first Sunday of family month:

Going to church with my children has been my greatest joy and my greatest challenge. My methods have changed from when my oldest daughter was born 10 years ago and how we manage things today. When I realized things weren’t working for me I sat down and thought about what my goals were in taking my children to church and what was stopping me from reaching these goals.

My desires for my children

  1. To associate joy with church
  2. To love and worship God
  3. To learn more about the Holy Scriptures and God’s plan for their lives
  4. To build godly friendships
  5. To learn new hymns and scriptures
  6. To feel God near

Why wasn’t it working?

1. The children were hungry and tired–big church comes right at lunch time and nap time

2. They distracted each other–hugging, kissing, and poking soon turned into screaming and wrestling

3. If I brought books, snacks or toys into the sanctuary…

a. They quickly went through them and wanted more

b. They made a mess with everything

c. It distracted them from getting much from the service

d. It distracted those around us

e. The older children wanted what I brought for the baby

f. I lost my cool quickly from sensory overload (too much visual movement, noise, and things bumping into me)

4. When I took all things away, the children started to hate coming to church.

5. They used bathroom breaks as an excuse to leave the service.

What does work?

1. Bringing a snack for everyone to eat before entering the sanctuary. This keeps blood sugar levels stable and helps the children control themselves. They learned noone would eat upstairs, not even the baby–except for nursing with a cover.

Here are some things I’ve taken for snacks: cheese and crackers, mozzarella cheese sticks, sliced apples, peanut butter finger sandwiches, wheat thin crackers, homemade bread, muffins, bagels, grapes, raisins, animal crackers…

2. I take them all potty and to get drinks before the service and let them know they won’t be leaving the service for these reasons.

3. When we sit on the pew I carefully order the children so that the ones that are ornery aren’t together.

4. Not bringing a lot of toys or books for the children. It keeps their entertainment expectations low.

5. There are some things I make sure to keep with me for those tough moments. They are ordinary looking things, not labeled as toys. It helps them be more interested if they think it’s something real. Here’s a small list:

a. A mechanical pencil for each child and if they start to fidget I let them doodle quietly on a scrap of paper before it turns into a discipline problem. (If I wait until they have been really naughty to hand them something it’s like rewarding their bad behavior.)

b. A small photo book in my purse with wallet size snapshots of family and friends

c. A handkerchief to roll up as twin babies in a cradle. I couldn’t find any instructions online so here’s a little video how to do it.

d. Chap-stick

e. Hand cream

f. Band-aids and Kleenex eliminate 2 more reasons for getting up

6. Also there are small things I can do to help the children stay focused.

a. Give them a gentle hand massage

b. Illustrate the sermon on a bulletin

c. Help an older child make a list of words they might hear during the sermon. During the sermon when they hear a word on their list, they place a little tally mark. It really keeps them listening.

d. Fold the bulletin into origami while they listen. I only know how to make a boat, but it works.

7. If my very small child (less than 2) gets fidgety I’ll stand in the back and hold him. A change of view usually does the trick.

8. And I’m not above having a little sweet tart treat for the children that don’t have to leave the service for discipline :).

f. After church I try to stay long enough to allow them to talk with their friends or run on the lawn a little bit.

Does it really work? Well, it works better than anything else I’ve tried. If you’ve sat near me during church, you’d know it’s not a perfect system. The children are still children and we all get weary and short tempered and sometimes I have to leave the service with a toddler under one arm. But they do grow and learn…and so do I. I’m so glad church is a place for sinners to find the grace of God :).

Making Parenting Bucket Lists

By on

In the bedroom across the hall is a long gangly boy that used to look surprisingl;y like the infant in the bassinet beside me.  And in the pink bedroom downstairs is a beautiful young woman who might grow completely up before I’m ready and leave home. And while their brothers and sister still seem small, they used to be so much smaller!

Where does the time go?  I still feel like a child myself in many ways, so how could I be the mother of so many–and so many big ones?!

Unless I take control of time and actively use it, life will continue on as it has and my children will leave home one by one and I will have regrets.  So today, I will take a moment and make some “bucket lists.”  What do I want my girls to know before they are wives?  And when and how will I teach it to them?  What skills should my boys have before they are husbands?  What memories do I want to make before the summer ends and school starts again?

I’ll be printing off calendars for June, July, and August and pencil in the memories and life skill building times so I can take action before time trickles away.  What’s on your parenting bucket list for this summer?

 

P.S.  I’ve found the best memories are made in surprisingly simple ways.  The most important thing to planting the seeds for  shared memory, is to set aside time to BE together.  It can be a very simple time of eating a meal outside instead of indoors.  Or a more elaborate time like a planned vacation.  And the best, longest lasting memories come when things didnt’ go according to plan, but the family bonded together and made the best of it.  So instead of stressing over things gone wrong, think of it as a future, “Remember the time…” story.

 

Building a Routine

By on

Whether you prefer a strict time dependent schedule or a looser routine, building predicatbility into our families’  lives helps with discipline, eases anxiety, and allows us to get more done.  For those of us with children with high anxiety levels, autism, or ADHD–this is not optional!

Every summer before school starts again, I mull over our past failures and successes and make a new schedule.  I think hard about what I want to happen and hwo to pack it all in the day.  For the last 5 years my scheuldes look pretty much the same even though at the time I thought I was coming up with a grand new plan.  And every year my new schedule falls by the wayside after a few days. 

Finally, I had an AHA moment.  I was trying to pack too much into a day and running ourselves to burn out in a short period.  Instead of building my dream day–I thought about what we already do routinely, and built my day around that.  For me, I had to let go of specific times we do things at the home, except for appointments.  Instead, we do things in a certain order at the pace that works best for the needs of the family at the time.  This allows me to take care of a newborn and toddler around working from home and schooling older children. 

For example, I’d love to get up at 5 am each morning.  But parenting a newborn makes that wake up time torture.  I can get up at 7 without trouble and after a good night, I’ll wake up naturally at 6:30. If it’s imperative that I get up earlier, I can slowly eek the time up 5-10 minutes for several days at a time until my body ajusts to the new schedule.

To get a routine that works with my family, I had to let go of what I thought others expected of me.  I don’t normally discuss in circles that I wake up at 7.  It feels late, and I’m embarrassed by it, but it’s what I need to do right now. 

 Also, we do not sit down and have breakfast as a family.  My husband leaves for work at 7:30, and I wake up the children at 8.  I’ve eaten long before both of those times.  Instead, I trained the children to get their own breakfast while I’m doing my exercises.  I try not to stress about family breakfast and focus on that family dinner instead.  I’ve learned I have to choose between family breakfast and exercising and picked what works best for my family.

Also, I learned that if we don’t get our music practice out of the way before lunch, the day snowballs and before we know it, it’s meltdown time and no practice gets done for the day. 

In short, I’ve learned that my routine needs to be relaxed (not too full), predictable, and organized so that what we need to do gets done when it is easiest for us (physically and emotionally) to do it.

June is Family Month

By on

Happy June!  For most of us school is out or nearly so.  It’s a great time to redirect our thoughts towards building strong family relationships, addressing holes in our child training, and creating memories.  This month I’m going to give you my best ideas on gently teaching children to listen and obey right away, building respect, creating routines and good habits, forging strong parent child relationships, helping brothers and sisters be friends, and passing on values.  It doesn’t require a lot of money to accomplish these things, but it does require time.  And I need to warn you, even though it’s simple, it’s not easy.  Which is why I stumble with it even though I know what to do.

Here’s the hardest part:  Our children learn best by watching us.  If big changes need to take place in our homes with the children, then we are going to have to change our own behavior in a big way.  It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

And believe it or not, doing these things will SAVE you a bunch of money.  You’ll buy less junk food, bribes, appeasements, fines, and replacing lost or broken items.  There’s also a potential medical savings, both physcial and psychological.  All this savings means we can redirect our money to the greater benefit of our children and teach them how to manage money at the same time. 

This month I’m going to get specific and practical.  Do you have trouble getting your children to practice their music, keep their rooms clean, or eat their food?  I’ll tell you what works for me, but I want you to know things are far from perfect around here.  Our children are a work in progress and so am I, so I’m looking forward to hearing your own ideas in the comments sections each day this month.

I also want to be clear that this is not a “Do this or reap eternal consequences”  kind of guide.  Just a month of ideas to consider and take or leave.

See you tomorrow.  I can’t wait to get started!

Cold Suppers–Classic BLT

By on

 

The classic combination of bacon, lettuce and tomato is widely loved, but often forgotten when we make our meal plans.  I like mine with cheese and pickles too :).  For those watching their carbs, it can be made into a wrap with a tortilla, pita or flatbread.  For those wanting to bulk up a bit, try making it club style, layered with several slices of whole grain bread as pictured above.

Add nutrition by adding veggies such as thinly sliced cucumber, sweet peppers or avocado.  Ad flavor by spreading the bread with fat free plain yogurt and sprinkling with lemon pepper.

To keep from heating up your kitchen, fry your bacon on a glass plate between two layers of paper towels in the microwave.  If you have an aversion to microwaves, a Foreman style indoor grill does wonders too.  We prefer Turkey bacon as it cooks up flat and has more meat than fat on it.

Serve with fresh grapes, veggies sticks and a large tossed salad (hopefully from stuff you gleaned from your kitchen garden.)

High Fiber Coconut Flour Biscuits

By on

This is not a gluten free recipe, but it’s a nice treat for people looking for reduced carb recipes.  The extra fiber from the coconut flour promotes colon health too!

1 cup unbleached flour (I haven’t tried this with fresh ground 100% whole wheat yet)

1/2 cup coconut flour

4 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 packet purevia stevia blend (optional)

1/4 cup plus 1 Tablespoon coconut oil, or butter

1 1/4 cups skim milk

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Set a large cast iron skillet in the oven to heat up with it.  In a mixing bowl combine flours, baking powder, salt and stevia.  Useing a fork or pastry blender, cut in 1/4 cup of coconut oil or butter.  Stir in milk and set aside for 3 minutes.  This allows the coconut flour to absorb the moisture.  Turn mixture out onto a silicone baking mat, or pastry cloth.  Pat 1 inch thick and cut with a 2 inch cutter.  Place the remaining tablespoon of coconut oil or butter into the hot skillet and allow it to melt.  Place the biscuits in the skillet and bake for 15 minutes.  Makes 11-12 biscuits

1 biscuit has 134 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of protein, 11 net grams of carbohydrates; 4 grams of insoluble fiber

Cold Suppers: Chicken Ceasar Salad

By on

This refreshing meal is low calorie and  full of protein and veggies.  Serve wtih fresh fruit.

In a pretty bowl combine the first 5 ingredients.  Serve with dressing on the side and fresh parmesan.

1 head Romaine Lettuce, chopped

1 small red onion, thinly sliced

1 small can of black olives (whole or sliced), drained

1 tomato sliced, or a handful of grape tomatoes

2 cups lowfat garlic and onion croutons (see recipe below)

2 cups of roughly chopped chicken (use the leftovers from a roasted chicken dinner or grill 1 lb of chicken breast sprinkled with lemon pepper)

Reduced Calorie Ceasar Dressing Mix:

1/3 cup grated parmesan cheese

1 teaspoon lemon zest

1/2 teaspoon black pepper

1 teaspoon garlic powder

Combine all and store in a snack size baggie in the fridge.  When ready to make dressing, mix 1/2 cup mayonnaise with 1/2 cup plain yogurt and contents of mix.  Blend well.  If dressing is too thick, add a little skim milk or lemon juice until it reaches desired consistency.

Bread Machine Lowfat Garlic and Onion croutons:

The secret to these croutons is baking the flavors into the bread!  This reduces the need for the oil to stick the flavors to the bread.  Bake this flavorful bread in the bread machine overnight.  Then in the morning, slice and toast in the oven before the house heats up.

1.5 cups water

2 Tablespoons olive oil

2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon onion powder

1 teaspoon garlic powder

2 teaspoons dried parsley

1/4 cup honey

4.25 cups whole wheat flour (fresh ground hard white wheat is my favorite)

2 Tablespoons vital wheat gluten

2 teaspoons active dry yeast

Place all ingredients in the bread machine in the order listed.  Bake on the whole wheat cycle.  Preheat oven to 350 degrees. When bread is cool, slice the bread into cubes and place in a single layer on a lightly greased cookie sheet.  Spritz with olive oil, or non-stick cooking spray.  Sprinkle lightly with salt if desired.  Toast for 12-15 minutes or until bread is golden brown.  Place on a cooling rack.  Bread will crisp as it cools.

More Solar Cooking

By on

When solar cooking, keep in mind that protective eyewear (sunglasses) are a really good idea.  Also, if children will be nearby, remind them that this not to look at the glare.

Here’s a solar cooking video from Minnesota.  Roberta roasts a chicken and bakes cornbread in her solar oven.  The worst part about this is having to go outside to set it up and check it, brrr!  But if she can do it on a -10 degree day, then cooking on a pleasant summer afternoon should be a piece of cake. http://youtu.be/aJ22QCAqFCc

Here’s another type of cooker, with a parabolic mirror–that made a really fast grilled cheese sandwich.  http://youtu.be/aJ22QCAqFCc

Other Solar Cookers

By on

There are other ways to cook with the sun than in a cardboard box. 

Here’s an open reflector.  This one can be purchased on ebay for about $30. 

http://solarcooking.wikia.com/wiki/Windshield_Shade_Solar_Cooker

This one is made from a reflective windshield covers (the kind designed to keep your car cooler in the summer.)

http://solarcooking.org/plans/newpanel.htm

Here’s a page for making a similar style reflector from cardboard and foil.

This oven is also for sale on ebay for around $50.  It fascinates me because it folds down very compactly–perfect for those with small amounts of storage space.

And here’s a video of a man sun roasting a 6 lb chicken in Ontario Canada on a windy day in February!  He paid so much for his supplies for his slow cooker that he could have purchased this one and come out ahead (since his didn’t turn out as well as he had hoped.)  But I love that it shows you don’ t have to live in Arizona to cook with the sun.

The Solar Oven

By on

We’ve all heard the phrase, “It’s so hot you could cook an egg on the sidewalk.”  But cooking with the heat from the sun is not a cliche.  With about $5 in materials you can create a solar powered oven that will bake bread, cook a casserole, or even boil water.  For 3rd world areas where cooking fuel is scarce, solar ovens can give natives a way to purify their water.  For the rest of us, solar ovens offer a cost effective way to cook our summer meals without heating up the kitchen.

Solar Oven cooking times resemble those of an electric crock pot, but will vary based on the cloud coverage and time of day.  If your box is well insulated, the outside temperature is not as crucial as how direct are the sun’s rays. It helps to invest in an inexpensive oven thermometer positioned so you can read the temperature without lifting the lid.  Also helpful are black or dark pans that aren’t reflective. 

I’ve searched the web for the best online instructions for building yoru own solar cooker.  Try it with cardboard and plastic first and if you like it, you can build a more permanent model from wood, metal hinges, and glass.  Click the photos to go to the instructions.

Also See:  http://www.backwoodshome.com/articles/radabaugh30.html and http://articles.cnn.com/2009-04-09/tech/solar.oven.global.warming_1_cardboard-solar-box-cookers-international-simple/2?_s=PM:TECH

Solar Cooking fascinates me, and tomorrow I’ll show you some other types of solar cookers, plus show you the most affordable places to buy your own if crafting isn’t your thing.