Last August, I wrote this article to remind myself how to encourage my children to sit in church and think it’s worth reposting in preparation for the first Sunday of family month:

Going to church with my children has been my greatest joy and my greatest challenge. My methods have changed from when my oldest daughter was born 10 years ago and how we manage things today. When I realized things weren’t working for me I sat down and thought about what my goals were in taking my children to church and what was stopping me from reaching these goals.

My desires for my children

1. To associate joy with church
2. To love and worship God
3. To learn more about the Holy Scriptures and God’s plan for their lives
4. To build godly friendships
5. To learn new hymns and scriptures
6. To feel God near

Why wasn’t it working?

1. The children were hungry and tired–big church comes right at lunch time and nap time

2. They distracted each other–hugging, kissing, and poking soon turned into screaming and wrestling

3. If I brought books, snacks or toys into the sanctuary…

a. They quickly went through them and wanted more

b. They made a mess with everything

c. It distracted them from getting much from the service

d. It distracted those around us

e. The older children wanted what I brought for the baby

f. I lost my cool quickly from sensory overload (too much visual movement, noise, and things bumping into me)

4. When I took all things away, the children started to hate coming to church.

5. They used bathroom breaks as an excuse to leave the service.

What does work?

1. Bringing a snack for everyone to eat before entering the sanctuary. This keeps blood sugar levels stable and helps the children control themselves. They learned noone would eat upstairs, not even the baby–except for nursing with a cover.

Here are some things I’ve taken for snacks: cheese and crackers, mozzarella cheese sticks, sliced apples, peanut butter finger sandwiches, wheat thin crackers, homemade bread, muffins, bagels, grapes, raisins, animal crackers…

2. I take them all potty and to get drinks before the service and let them know they won’t be leaving the service for these reasons.

3. When we sit on the pew I carefully order the children so that the ones that are ornery aren’t together.

4. Not bringing a lot of toys or books for the children. It keeps their entertainment expectations low.

5. There are some things I make sure to keep with me for those tough moments. They are ordinary looking things, not labeled as toys. It helps them be more interested if they think it’s something real. Here’s a small list:

a. A mechanical pencil for each child and if they start to fidget I let them doodle quietly on a scrap of paper before it turns into a discipline problem. (If I wait until they have been really naughty to hand them something it’s like rewarding their bad behavior.)

b. A small photo book in my purse with wallet size snapshots of family and friends

c. A handkerchief to roll up as twin babies in a cradle. I couldn’t find any instructions online so here’s a little video how to do it.

d. Chap-stick

e. Hand cream

f. Band-aids and Kleenex eliminate 2 more reasons for getting up

6. Also there are small things I can do to help the children stay focused.

a. Give them a gentle hand massage

b. Illustrate the sermon on a bulletin

c. Help an older child make a list of words they might hear during the sermon. During the sermon when they hear a word on their list, they place a little tally mark. It really keeps them listening.

d. Fold the bulletin into origami while they listen. I only know how to make a boat, but it works.

7. If my very small child (less than 2) gets fidgety I’ll stand in the back and hold him. A change of view usually does the trick.

8. And I’m not above having a little sweet tart treat for the children that don’t have to leave the service for discipline :).

f. After church I try to stay long enough to allow them to talk with their friends or run on the lawn a little bit.

Does it really work? Well, it works better than anything else I’ve tried. If you’ve sat near me during church, you’d know it’s not a perfect system. The children are still children and we all get weary and short tempered and sometimes I have to leave the service with a toddler under one arm. But they do grow and learn…and so do I. I’m so glad church is a place for sinners to find the grace of God :).

In the bedroom across the hall is a long gangly boy that used to look surprisingl;y like the infant in the bassinet beside me.  And in the pink bedroom downstairs is a beautiful young woman who might grow completely up before I’m ready and leave home. And while their brothers and sister still seem small, they used to be so much smaller!

Where does the time go?  I still feel like a child myself in many ways, so how could I be the mother of so many–and so many big ones?!

Unless I take control of time and actively use it, life will continue on as it has and my children will leave home one by one and I will have regrets.  So today, I will take a moment and make some “bucket lists.”  What do I want my girls to know before they are wives?  And when and how will I teach it to them?  What skills should my boys have before they are husbands?  What memories do I want to make before the summer ends and school starts again?

I’ll be printing off calendars for June, July, and August and pencil in the memories and life skill building times so I can take action before time trickles away.  What’s on your parenting bucket list for this summer?

P.S.  I’ve found the best memories are made in surprisingly simple ways.  The most important thing to planting the seeds for  shared memory, is to set aside time to BE together.  It can be a very simple time of eating a meal outside instead of indoors.  Or a more elaborate time like a planned vacation.  And the best, longest lasting memories come when things didnt’ go according to plan, but the family bonded together and made the best of it.  So instead of stressing over things gone wrong, think of it as a future, “Remember the time…” story.

When solar cooking, keep in mind that protective eyewear (sunglasses) are a really good idea.  Also, if children will be nearby, remind them that this not to look at the glare.

Here’s a solar cooking video from Minnesota.  Roberta roasts a chicken and bakes cornbread in her solar oven.  The worst part about this is having to go outside to set it up and check it, brrr!  But if she can do it on a -10 degree day, then cooking on a pleasant summer afternoon should be a piece of cake. http://youtu.be/aJ22QCAqFCc

Here’s another type of cooker, with a parabolic mirror–that made a really fast grilled cheese sandwich.  http://youtu.be/aJ22QCAqFCc

There are other ways to cook with the sun than in a cardboard box. 

Here’s an open reflector.  This one can be purchased on ebay for about $30. 

http://solarcooking.wikia.com/wiki/Windshield_Shade_Solar_Cooker

This one is made from a reflective windshield covers (the kind designed to keep your car cooler in the summer.)

http://solarcooking.org/plans/newpanel.htm

Here’s a page for making a similar style reflector from cardboard and foil.

This oven is also for sale on ebay for around $50.  It fascinates me because it folds down very compactly–perfect for those with small amounts of storage space.

And here’s a video of a man sun roasting a 6 lb chicken in Ontario Canada on a windy day in February!  He paid so much for his supplies for his slow cooker that he could have purchased this one and come out ahead (since his didn’t turn out as well as he had hoped.)  But I love that it shows you don’ t have to live in Arizona to cook with the sun.

Homeschool Freebies is giving away the 1832 book, The American Frugal Housewife, as an ebook.  To download your copy today click here.  Normally the giveaways are only available for one day, so don’t wait too long!

Slow cooking uses less energy than a traditional oven because there is less space to heat up, it is better insulated, and once it reaches temperature requires little to maintain it.  When you use a slow cooker instead of an oven your air conditioning bills will be lower too.

When it’s hot, lighter dishes are more appealing.  Our bodies use less energy since we are not working as hard to keep warm, and we can eat fewer calories.  Dishes that feature clear broth are better than creamy dishes, and even better are dishes that can be served cold once they are cooked through.

Balance a hot main dish with lots of cold side dishes, such as fresh fruit, veggie sticks, lettuce salad, pasta salad, or gelatin.

Here are some summer recipe ideas for the Slow Cooker;

1.  Cook a chicken rubbed with herbs in the slow cooker, then debone and use for cold chicken salad sanwiches, top a lettuce salad with chicken pieces, or use the sliced breast meat for deli style sandwiches.

2.  Did you know eggs can be boiled overnight in a slow cooker?  The whites may absorb some pigment from the shell, but the flavor remains the same.  Try this recipe:  http://www.cdkitchen.com/recipes/recs/538/HardBoiled_Eggs56347.shtml Use your cold hard boiled eggs to make egg salad, eat them peeled with a little salt and pepper, or slice them to add protein to a lettuce salad.

3.  Mexican style food is a warm weather favorite.  Even though the spices can heat up your mouth, they often have cold companions such as salsa, avocado, and shredded lettuce that balance the temperatures.  Plus our bodies require more salt when it’s hot which make nacho chips even more appealing.  One of our favorite dishes is Chalupa which is a beef or pork roast slow cooked with beans and spices then served like a taco salad with lots of cold companions.  Here’s a recipe:  http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/pork-chalupas/Detail.aspx or you can find my favorite take on the chalupa in my cookbook: Slow and Savory Suppers

It’s warming up around here.  Today it’s supposed to be in the 90’s in Kansas City and yesterday it was almost that hot.  Our neighbors are opening up their pools and I’m starting to think of lovely warm weather meals like cold chicken salad in whole wheat pitas and fruit kabbos.

There’s nothing that heats up the heart of the home like cooking a big meal, but there are ways to minimize the heat while still getting a traditional meal on the table.  I’ll give a quick list of ideas and then take each one in more detail over the next few days.  Cooking to minimize heat, also minimizes energy and cost.  It’s a win-win!

1.  Use a slow cooker.  For even less heat in the house, plug in the slow cooker outside in a covered porch.

2.  Use an outdoor grill

3.  Use a fire pit

4.  Use a solar oven

5.  Use a reflector hot plate

6.  Prepare cold meals

Jill Farris is back today with part two of her series on Decluttering. You can read part 1 here.

Are you ready to begin? Begin with the end in mind. Decide now how you are going to dispose of your stuff. Remember, it’s the perfectly good items that cause most of the problems (and we all have lots of very nice things that are filling up our homes).

 Picture in your minds eye an uncluttered room, a garage with boxes neatly labeled and stored, peacefully bare surfaces; in other words a home with room for people, activities, joy!

Again, let’s begin with the end in mind. Where will you put the bags and boxes of stuff you will collect as you purge each room? If you are in serious clutter trouble and struggle with letting go of your material possessions I urge you to take your clutter straight to a thrift store at the end of the day. Do not store it overnight and do not plan on having a garage sale…it will slowly leak back out and make its way back into your home (ask me how I know!).

If you are generally in control of the level of clutter in your home and it’s gotten temporarily out of hand, you may want to sort your clutter into separate drop offs (clothing to a consignment store, toys to donate to a preschool, new but unused items to a friend etc.).  Be forewarned that this can be dangerous if you get busy and don’t get around to it.  Your goal is to get rid of your stuff….don’t make it your primary goal to make money at this time.

If you are great at de-cluttering and don’t struggle with “de-clutterers remorse” you might want to box up your salable items for a future garage sale (emphasis on the word future…be sure that you actually have the garage sale!).

Today’s goal is simply to de-clutter. Repeat after me “People are more important than things.” Your home cannot be a sanctuary for the people you love if you are continually frustrated by too many things.

Not motivated? I have a suggestion for you; invite overnight guests to stay with you. Tell them to come soon! Do not invite your very best friend from high school who has a far messier house than you do and doesn’t care where she stays. No! You need to invite some strangers (missionaries traveling through who need a place to stay, perhaps?) or (better yet) some well-to-do relatives who live in an immaculate, well-kept home.

I have been dragged out of a bad case of housecleaning doldrums by knowing that someone is coming to stay overnight.

• Start your with entryway or wherever you enter your home. That way if you only get part of your house done you’ll still feel good every time you enter your home.
• Because May has 31 days in it, I am challenging you to take 31 items out of each room.

• Working quickly, focus on the areas of the room that attract clutter. In my home they are the book baskets, the hall closet and the toy cupboard. Give yourself a half hour or less to cull the room. Do you have thirty-one items yet? If not, move on!

• Next, hit the overflow room of the house. We all have one. Ours is the master bedroom which catches all the laundry from the nearby laundry room. Move quickly around the room DECISIVELY picking up and stuffing items into a bag. I do not count real trash as part of the items but it is up to you! Thirty-one items as fast as you can…can you do it?

As soon as you have reached your limit, take the bags and boxes out to the car. If you have time, deliver them to their destinations.

 *You deserve a reward! Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee and enjoy the feeling of knowing that you are one step closer to a peaceful, restful, home!

1.  Use a squeege on the shower walls and floor after each use.  It only takes a minute and prevents soap scum build up and mold from forming.  You may never have to clean more than this if you are consistent.

Before getting in your shower, squirt a dallop of cheap shampoo into your toilet.  When you are done with your shower, swish around a bit with the toilet brush and flush.  Your toilet will always be clean with very little effort.

2.  Change your bathroom hand towel every day, but before you do wipe down the counter and sink with it.  It’s best done after your morning routine.  Your sink will always be sparkling!

3.  Try to take care of something while it is in your hands, instead of just laying it around to deal with later.  Then set certain times throughout the day for a 5 minute pickup of the items that escaped.

4.  Clean up any spills or messes when they happen.  This includes a spill in the fridge, on the floor, or at the table.  This is not my normal way of proceeding and I’ve paid for it later with dried on sticky messes that are very time consuming to remove.

I remember one of my favorite babysitting jobs.  There were 4 children two older girls aged 6 and 8 and two toddlers.  We were watching a movie in the living room together when the 6 year old jumped up, threw the cushions off the sofa and grabbed the vacuum.  She vacuumed up the couch, put the cushions back, put the vacuum away and continued to watch the movie.  I was the only one surprised!

She had dropped her popcorn bowl on the couch and the piece were running between the cushions.  She did what she had been trained to do–clean up after yourself right away.  Their house was always company ready and it didn’t seem stressful for anyone living there.  A big part of that training was their mom’s example.

5.  Always keep your dishwasher dirty.  Huh?  I mean, empty it as soon as it is clean, so it is always ready to accept dirty dishes.  That way you can train your family to rinse and load their dishes as soon as they are done with them.  Also keep a clean dish tub under the sink to hold rinsed dishes when the dishwasher is running.

I know the struggle of keeping children’s rooms clean!  Here’s a picture to prove it–that’s me trying to hold my cool while we dig out—again.

Before

This is a mild mess for what our every day norm was.  I was constantly frustrated with the children and had a sick feeling just passing by their door.  Every few months, I’d help them dig out and then make them promise to keep it clean.  But in just a few days we were right back to the mess. 

Once Darren and I sent the kids to Grandma’s for the weekend and we boxed up every toy and put it in the garage. They were able to choose one toy each and that was it.  Oh, there was crying and wailing, but things were better for awhile.  Then birthdays and Christmas came and a mountain of toys from well meaning friends and family.  It didn’t feel right taking away their new things and after awhile, it was a huge mess again.

I started to notice the mess just wasn’t just toys, it was candy wrappers, kleenex balls, tiny beads, broken crayons, cute erasers, and bits of things. Gross!  Now when I see things like this just lef t on the ground, I take care of it for them and bury it deep in the trash.  They aren’t emotionally mature enough to recognize trash and hold on to each bit of fluff as a memory.  They don’t notice when it’s gone.

After

I also noticed it wasn’t fair for me to expect them to keep their rooms clean, because there was so much stuff, there wasn’t a place to put it.  I sat down with the girls and asked them what was most important to them.  I gave them each 3 toy drawers and a basket for dolls and let them choose their favorite things to keep.  I paid them cash for the items they were willing to part with and marked them for the garage sale with  my initials on them.  That way if they sold or didn’t, the kids still got the money for it.  Sometimes they needed help parting with things and I was very discreet and sensitive about when and how I took care of it.

Then we labeled the drawers very carefully:  Polly Pockets, 18 inch dolls, Only Hearts Club, Stuffed Animals Etc.  And we set up some ground rules:  Any toy in a bin or drawer not labeled for that toy, would end up in toy jail for tresspassing!  Any toy in jail can be bailed out for $.10 each, but toys not redeemed after a month go to the thrift store.  Toys left in living spaces after bed also end up in toy jail.

Not only did we purge toys, but we purged clothes too.  I only let them keep what fit, they loved to wear, and what fit in their drawers and closet without crowding.  It’s so much easier to put clean things away now and keep the drawers clean.

The secret to keeping it clean is time with mama.  Now that there is a place for everything and simple rules, I can go in to their rooms several times a day and remind them of what to pick up.  So if I check on their school and see their pajamas on the floor, I ask them to fix it right then.  And before bed we do a thorough pick up.  I check under their dressing table and in the floor of the closet.  I make sure the bins only have in them what’s on the label and if the children refuse to cooperate, I take the offending toys off to jail.  Mostly it’s a cheerful time, and only takes about 15 minutes.  After it’s done I lay on the bed with them and tell stories about childhood or answer their questions about the coming baby.  The rooms are alwasy ready for an unexpected guest now and once a week, it’s easy to go in and vacuum and dust a bit.

One more inspriation:  The kids never know when the House Fairy will show up!  Have you heard of her?  If not, click here.