“Is that Heather’s wedding dress?” Brandon wanted to know.

I started to laugh…but then stopped.  It sort of  is. It is the dress she will wear to become part of the bride of Christ. It’s her baptism dress.

I put off sewing for awhile. My sewing room has been such a mess since we moved, and I’ve had so many other responsibilities, that I just couldn’t get in the groove. It has been at least 6 months since I attempted anything (except a whale–and that ended a little tragically.)  I wondered if I would remember how?

I thought I would try to buy a dress, but tradition dictates the dress be pure white and fully immersable!  I’ve seen lots of first communion white dresses…but they weren’t meant for the water. And talk about pricey!  Plus white tends to turn clear when wet–so I’m going to need lots of layers.  It’s hard to buysomething like that.

I taught my first sewing class in the new house Monday night–so had to get my sewing studio in order.  I thought I had taken inspiration photos to show you how messy it really was….but I can’t find them.  Convenient..I know. Imagine a room from the TV show hoarders without animals or rotten food.  That will get you close.  I shoved all the stuff to one side of the room so Mark could work.  Here’s before:

After Mark came and built out shelves for the triangular room.

Since then, I’ve been working for a week on folding my fabric onto comic book boards (The economical way to make mini-fabric bolts.  I spent $20 on 2oo boards, saving $400 over buying these.) I have a LOT of fabric.  Caleb’s closet is still full of boxes of fabric waiting to be rolled.  I’m getting rid of a lot as I go.

I love being able to see all my choices without digging through boxes.  I’m hoping they are far enough away from direct sunlight, not to be faded.

Anyway, a clean room with space to work is very motivating.  I made 3 ballet costumes the next day.

And yesterday I cut out Heather’s dress.  Heather was on the farm visiting her grandparents so couldn’t be fitted. I had to guess. (When she arrived, I had to take 4″ out of the width of the dress!)  I chose a piece of fabric and a pattern from my stash.  The fabric was a remnant of white on white embroidered gauze with woven stripes that I fell in love with years ago, but never found the right purpose for.  It was going to have to be very special.  There’s nothing more special than a baptism!

In our church, we believe baptism is a public declaration of our covenant to follow Christ for the rest of our lives.  The children have to make the decision themselves, but can’t decide until they are at least 8 years old. This gives them time to mature enough to be able to understand how imp0rtant this decision is.  When Heather turned 8, she wasn’t ready yet.  I tried to tell myself it was okay.  That I was glad she was making the decision on her own and not falling to peer pressure.  But mostly I worried.  I worried about the questions she asked…the deep thinking she showed that she was struggling with faith.  And I prayed…a lot.

You wouldn’t believe the deep discussions we had late at night after the rest of the children were asleep.  We would talk about how I knew God was real.  I would tell her my testimonies, about how God sent an angel to comfort me in my deep grief and I actually felt his arms around me, but saw no one.  About how God healed Caleb’s smashed fingers instantly while Heidi prayed and Grandma and I watched.  How I saw Christ in a vision on the cross and He told me that his sacrifice was for ME.  And how his face looked like love.  And that even though I was worthy of his contempt and condemnation only love was in his eyes.

We talked about that if the big bang theory was true—-where did the first life come from?  How we have all the chemicals in the lab that are in living things, but that without life–life cannot come.  Life must come from life.  So where did that first life come from?

And we talked about how fulfilling a Christian life is.  I mean if I live my whole life by Christ’s teachings, I will have a pretty happy life.  Loving, forgiving, serving, holding no malice.  And if I die and I’m wrong, I still had a fanstastic life.  But if a non-believer lives his whole life in sin, he will feel the misery of it his whole life.  And if he dies and is wrong, will continue in his misery.  And after all that, she still wasn’t sure.  She wasn’t ready.

So I stopped talking to her about it.  And just prayed in silence.  Prayed that God would reveal himself to my daughter in a way that would affect her life forever.  Prayed that she would have her own tesimonies and not have to rely on my witness alone. I prayed that fear or anxiety of the water, of germs, of other people watching wouldn’t get in the way of her desire to follow Christ.  I don’t know what happened between Heather and God, but one day a few weeks ago, she said to Daddy, “I’m ready now.”  He smiled; I cried.

So that is why I am making a white dress.  The best reason in the world.  Now I’m off to buy a zipper and then we’ll take pictures of the finished dress.